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Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Finding healing in the inevitable illness....

I am sick. Too much heat and sweat and too little potassium and sodium have depleted my reserves. Add that to the remains of jet lag, and lack of consistent sleep, and I found myself delirious yesterday afternoon. I was manic - couldn't stop laughing, and then lethargy set in on the ride back to the hotel. I immediately jumped into the shower and laid on the bed in the cool fan air. I didn't recognize my own face in th mirror. Scary stuff.

I woke up at 3 a.m. In a cold sweat and wracked with diarrhea. My insides were churning, I was shaking, and I thought I was going to die for the second time in less than a week. I took my traveler's diarrhea medicine and struggled to fall back asleep. At 7 a.m. I couldn't even stand properly, but my cramping was gone. Afraid of what would happen, I sent my group off to school without me... With great apology and regret. Truly I am enjoying learning and don't want to miss a second.

I fell back asleep after drinking some electrolytes and woke two hours later to Skype with my favorite nursing student about what to do next. I haven't been eating enough- the result of the heat and figuring out my clock in a time zone 12 hours different from my own. So, I ate my last nutrition bar, drank a good couple of liters of water, and slept some more.

Feeling better around noon, I sent a message to the group to pick me up some rice and banana and Gatorade on the way back, and settled in to watch some Thai MTV.

Tonight I am sending them out to GNC (yes, it exists here too) to pick up some protein and supplements. All of my nutrition education is serving me well in this moment. I am re-establishing my nutrition base here. Turns out students do get sick here, so I am good with school. I can make up what I missed by coming early in the mornings if I want to.

As I watched the videos, I found some new music to fall in love with. It stoked my fire once more (although sick, it sill burns). I wanted to get up and dance - not today, but soon. How wonderful to have the opportunity to just be. Maybe I am still delirious, but I feel like even this was meant to happen. It made me take notice of my body - the vessel that contains my growing spirit. Something necessary, obviously. Even in sickness I am loving this and can't wait for more...

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